The Admiral – Dancer Audition

I started dancing when I was eighteen.  First year out on my own, starting college and all in Chicago.  Far from close family and friends.  It was my way of forcing myself to open up.  I was a really shy person growing up.  Quiet and reserved, unless I was performing.  The stage or the ice is where I got it all out of my system without saying a word.  I needed to move somewhere I would be left to my own devices and learn to function on my own.  It was very hard and sometimes it felt like I could’ve given up.  

I grew up being the middle child of five.  I finished high school, and got my diploma for cosmetology at the same time.  I figure skated since the age of 4-5 and competed all through until I graduated high school.  Took ballet classes and even tried some other dance classes.  I needed the ballet in order to keep skating because I am pigeon toed.  Some days I still feel the effects of it and it kind of hurts my hips or my legs are just in throbbing pain and I cannot sleep comfortably.  All in all I was always busy.  I had great friends and wonderful times I will never forget with them, while growing up.  But moving to Chicago was big for me.  It was a move I will never regret.

 

My first few nights in Chicago alone were difficult.  I stayed up all night staring out the window of my student apartment on the forty first floor of the Presidential Towers.  Watching the traffic on the Kennedy get busy and then almost empty.  I drank a lot of mountain dew and was addicted to honey roasted peanuts.  It was my comfort food.  My roommate hadn’t moved in yet.  So it was very lonely and being as shy I was, I felt a little restless with no way to fix it.  Eventually she moved in and it was nice to finally have someone to talk to.  She was outgoing and loud but very funny and a sweet girl.  We got along really well.  I told her I was going to start looking for work because I knew my parents really couldn’t afford to send me much and I wasn’t expecting them too.  I was now on my own and I understood what that meant.  School started and as I got used to my schedule I started the search for a job.  And finally I realized with my schedule that it was going to be very difficult to have a job and go to school.  So I started looking at clubs.  I was nervous as all hell but something had to give.  

 

I emailed The Admiral Theatre, over on the north side of the city at Lawrence and Pulaski.  They asked me for a few photos before telling me to come in and audition.  That emailing alone was full of excitement as I might have a new job, and a chance to really do things for myself.  I got an email back within an hour telling me to come in that night to audition in front of the director at the time (who used to be a dancer), and two managers.  My roommate and a few of our friends came with me but they stayed in the lobby or right out front while I auditioned.  I had prepared myself all day for it.  I knew I could perform no problem, but strip…fully nude?  Totally different story.

 

I wore these really awesome 7in black, closed toed heels that I got my junior year from a friend.  A skirt I got before tenth grade started, and a tank top I had.  Obviously I wore undergarments but I always remembered that first impression in anything is important.  I talked to the director and one of the managers before going up.  She was a nice girl and wasn’t even there much longer afterwards.  Never saw her again.  The manager that I talked to that night was a shorter gentleman, dressed nicely in a suit and was very polite.  But he flat out told me almost immediately, “If we do not hire you, it’s not because you aren’t a pretty girl, you just may not be our type of girl.”  He told me that before I even got out of the chair onto the little side stage to dance.  My face of course was red the whole way through because I was so nervous.  I finally got up and did it.  My moves were lacking a lot as I really didn’t know what to do.  Another manager sat on the other side of the stage during the audition.  After the songs were done they said I could get dressed and come down.  When I sat back down all three of them were smiling, these huge and quite welcoming smiles.  They told me I had nothing to worry about and that I was hired.  Asked when I could start and told me I needed to figure out a name.  I told them I could start that Saturday and I would figure a name out.  

 

When I walked out of there I met up with my friends and told them the news.  They were so excited for me!  Those friends actually made me feel like I could do it and already got the job before I walked in so to come out to that and hear the congratulations from them was a reward in itself.  We all got into a cab, went back to PT and apparently they had already set up to celebrate before we left, while I was in class.  We get back to the apartment and they started making dinner and called a few more friends over and we all just hung out for the night and enjoyed some really good Mexican food.  It was phenomenal.  I finally had done something that said hey, I can do this too.

 

That Saturday I was given the name Natali by another girl, and it was my first night.  I made over $500 that night.  And I didn’t even talk to people.  I didn’t get the chance.  I was slowly learning the ways of a stripper.  It is a very slow process.  I was the baby there.  The youngest, I always looked the youngest, and was always working.  I call the first phase or few awkward months of dancing the ‘Baby Stripper Phase’ because we are awkward and clunky, a bit clueless and have a false attitude about it.  It’s when we make it past that phase that we really are entertainers, and hustlers.  

 

Think what you want about the industry, but we work hard as hell to keep other people happy and to enjoy their night out.  We don’t go out and party, we are working those nights of the parties.  We are paying our bills and making sure we have everything taken care of.  Slowly you’ll see we really are not all bad.  Sure there are some bad apples, but every job and position has them.  It’s how society as a whole looks at them and stereotypes them.  Warning you now, I will be breaking the stripper stereotype, and maybe a few others.  I am so far from any stereotype that I really, can’t be labeled with just one label.  Nope.

The Sick Dancer

I’ve been sick for a week now.  Still worked last week, including Saturday night but I really should’ve stayed home.  This cold is not the worst I’ve ever felt but it just won’t go away.  In addition to having this cold it’s been keeping me from getting good sleep, causing me to be very cranky even though I don’t mean to be.  

 

I’m in the process of finding a costume for work.  On that note I have been getting more often lately many compliments from the girls on my gowns.  I’ve always gotten compliments and such from customers but from girls this is newer.  A few told me they found gowns they liked but didn’t buy them because they saw it as my “thing”.  Honestly I just love wearing them and if more girls wore them I wouldn’t really mind.  I stand out yes, but either way I stand out and I’m not worried about it.  And I put this in the nicest way possible but I do not loan out my gowns.  The only girl allowed to wear them gave me half of them, I’m not about to deny the woman her own dresses.  The last time I loaned out a gown to a girl it was a Marilyn Monroe replica gown, and she ruined it horribly.  She let it lay on the smoke machine on stage and the chemicals from the machine caused the metallic coloring in the material to change.  It was supposed to be a gold dress, and it turned it silver in spots all over.  It was completely trashed.  And what’s worse is she didn’t even try to replace it or apologize.  She tried to hide it from me as if I wouldn’t notice.  That is why no one other than Brandi is allowed to wear my gowns.  She is the only girl I still dance with that I have always danced with since I was 18.  She comes and visits and dances here with me still. 

 

Last time Brandi was here it was a long month.  She wasn’t feeling great for part of it and then wanted to work almost everyday.  I live too far to work everyday and actually be able to function to work everyday.  Many of the girls that were working at the club when she was there didn’t mind her much.  The few that did are gone.  They had nasty attitudes towards many girls so it wasn’t like she was singled out.  But Brandi is one hell of smart girl.  Maybe some of her choices aren’t the best, but she is really fucking intelligent.  She banked at that club, even if to her it didn’t seem that way.  She worked harder than any other girl I’ve seen in there.  I’ve always been the more laid back type and I make money from taking my time.  She will hustle and hustle and when she’s done there isn’t much left to do.  She is a hard worker.  Goofy as hell but a hard worker.  

 

We have so many new girls in the club, that only a few Brandi would actually remember.  And a lot of these girls have no clue what they are doing.  It’s like girls start thinking the job is glamorous and easy money.  It can be both at times but it is so much more than that.  It’s hard and if you don’t have a thick skin, the mean and useless people will wear you down so fucking fast it’s sick.  Out of the 8 clubs I have worked in, in different areas, this one for some unknown reason has some of the meanest, snobbiest girls I have ever worked with.  Like they don’t remember that everyone likes something different.  We aren’t all the same for a reason.  We need many different types of girls, but we all need to have good attitudes.  Don’t bring down another girl because you don’t like her for some stupid reason.  Your reason for not liking her is not going to stop you from making money unless you let it.  If you spend all your time flipping out on a girl for nothing, you are wasting time that you could be making money.  If you are too busy telling people all these great things about you with an attitude, one they are not going to believe you, and two you are wasting time. What is the point of trying to make another girl feel bad about who she is?  She knows who she is and she doesn’t need you or anyone else to validate it.  But for some reason you find it necessary to harass her at work.  It’s work, so fucking work and leave others alone.  I sure as hell don’t like everyone I work with, and they know that.  But I do not waste my time nor energy harassing them in any way.  What is the point?  It doesn’t make me money, doesn’t make me get any customers and doesn’t make it any easier to deal with at work.

 

Another thing that has irked me at work lately (probably bothering me more cuz I’m sick and cranky) is I remember when I started, I was told the club has a zero tolerance for drug use.  I am at this point right now saying “PROVE IT”.  I’m tired of seeing girls going out to a truck to smoke pot, or seeing them snort drugs in the dressing room.  Or having a drug dealer come in and bring them stuff.  Not so fucking glamorous when a girl passes out or stumbles around.  It makes us all look really trashy which is what we need to get away from.  I’ve never witnessed so much drug use in a club in my life.  What the hell is going on here?  I feel like the club doesn’t give a shit.  I am a clean dancer, I don’t get wasted, I don’t use drugs, and I don’t start shit with other girls.  I’ve never walked out without paying my rent and just expected to be allowed back.  But then I get told along with everyone else that when we are in dances and we get called to stage we have to go right to stage.  So what you are telling me, let me get this straight, is that if I am making money doing dance after dance after dance with a customer and I get called to stage I have to leave him upset and wishing he could’ve gotten more dance uninterrupted, but it’s totally not a big deal to let girls get completely wasted on alcohol and drugs because no one is doing anything about it?  Makes no sense to me whatsoever.  But I am not management, I am just a dancer and must not have any idea how to run a business.  Idk about you but I’d rather run a business legally then find out later on half my staff is getting taken away because they are carrying drugs.  Honestly? Why?  I told myself when I started when I was 18, if I cannot do my job sober, there is no reason I should be doing it.  And when I am told by management that they do not tolerate drugs and then all of a sudden over the last few months they have turned away from that how in the world am I supposed to believe what I am told?  I love where I work but this is just complete bullshit.  I refuse to be associated with people that do things like that.  It’s bad enough as a dancer people automatically think I must be a whore and a drug addict with some deep routed issues.  I work hard to keep my slate clean.  I’m not a whore in anyway, I’m an entertainer.  I dance and converse and that is it.  I am not a drug addict, I don’t need them.  I don’t see the point in trying to work while stoned out of your mind when you can’t even find your own damn cigarettes.  And my personal issues stay with me at home.  I don’t bring those to work, don’t need to.  

 

I’m sick.  I’m sick of working with rules that aren’t followed.  I’m sick of working with mean girls that think they run the club when in the end they are just another dancer like the rest of us.  And I’m so sick of working in a place where they do nothing about the drugs in there.  

Preparing for a shift

I work tonight.  I love working Saturdays at this club.  It’s couples night and even though we get busy it’s a smoother busy than Friday nights.  I’m not a party girl.  Used to be when I worked at Diamonds, yes but the atmosphere was different.  I always tend to have a good night on Saturdays.  

 

I relax for a bit.  Sometimes I will do my work out before anything else.  Puts me in a good mood and then I just go from there.  Shower, make up, hair and make sure I have my outfit for the shift and usually it’s a gown.  I love wearing my gowns.  I never really blended in with the other girls I work with every where I was at.  And this is another example of that.  I like it that way.  In this industry one should stand out in the best possible ways to get noticed.  

 

In warmer weather for the most part my hair is up.  And since it is chilly out now I will be wearing it down more often.  I just get so warm so easily there and I make do.  Tonight I’ll most likely curl my hair in big bouncy curls.  My make up will end up being something not too dark but a bit more sultry than anything.  I don’t want to be intimidating and sometimes girls think they need to wear more and more make up.  Less is more in this situation for me.  I do really well with couples.  I’m friendly and approachable and the women are comfortable with that.  So I keep it. 

 

Most of the time I will listen to certain music or watch certain tv shows and such while getting ready or on my way there.  Just to get my mind in the right place for a good night.  On my way there I will listen to The Secret by Rhonda Byrne on audio.  Great book and definitely focuses me on what I should be focused on.  Staying happy and thinking the happy thoughts.  I set goals for myself.  Achievable goals and if regardless of the outcome I am thankful.  It’s hard to stay in a happy spot when so many people around you are negative but I try my hardest.  I keep my hustle with me and just go with the flow.  I’m not a pushy girl and I have never been a dirty girl either.  I’m a lady and present myself as such at all times.  I use my mind more than anything else to make the money I do make.  I have had regulars that came in to see me all the time, or at only certain times during a month or the week.  And almost all of them came in to spend time talking with me not getting dances.  Because I am easy to talk with and can hold conversations pretty well.  If I get bored or do not find the conversation to be at all mentally stimulating I will ask if the person wants a dance or excuse myself.  I can hustle the hell out of dances no problem but I prefer to do what I can to keep people coming back.  The stylist in me reminds me that customer retention is important.  Customer service it what our industry is about.  So I make sure I am on my game at all times and if I’m not, I will keep to myself for a bit until I get it back.  I do not like making anyone else have to deal with my attitude.

 

Every time I have trained a new girl I have always told them almost immediately, “Act like a lady, people will treat you like one and you won’t regret it.”  And except for two girls in particular every single girl I have trained does just fine.  They act like ladies, and they make great money.  Like me they get irritated when a girl seems to think it’s part of the job to be dirty and just let whatever happen, happen.  But it takes a while to get past that when you start in this industry.  Where I am working now we have to deal with a lot of different types of girls.  Some last and some don’t as usual.  Some cause tons of useless drama and it takes away from the whole point of being there.  If I don’t personally like a girl, I’ll stay away.  Many times that has been mistaken by others as me being weak or a doormat.  Make no mistake, I am not the girl to cause fights, but ruffle my feathers just enough and I will come down hard.  Half the time when it’s all done and over the girl has no clue what just happened to her and eventually just goes away.  And the best part, I’ve never had to get physical with another girl.  I don’t need to get into screaming matches or name calling.  Huni I use my brain and it is the best tool I have been blessed with.  I know how to work my way around and make sure my night is one hell of a night and the other girl ends up with a night she could’ve stayed home or gone out to party.  I don’t need the drama and I don’t go looking for it.  I am there to work and be an entertainer, it’s what I do best.  And I love it.  I grew up performing and it’s just second nature to me.  

 

On that note it is time to start preparing for the night. Best of luck ladies! 😉

 

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=PT0MhefTdac

Where I am, where I have been.

I’m back in Michigan.  I grew up here, near Detroit.  Great family, and some amazing friends and they all left some pretty awesome memories.  I work at a club here in MI, not near my home, actually quite far.  I love this club.  It’s comfortable, the management is really great, the staff for the most part is friendly, and we have some pretty neat girls.  But this is nothing like my home club that recently got torn down in IL.  Diamonds Gentlemen’s Club in West Chicago, IL.  That was my home club a few years ago before I took a three year hiatus.  For two years I worked with the same girls, the same staff, and the same type of atmosphere until the end when the economy took a dive.  Our manager was tough on the girls, as he should be.  He was known for making girls cry.  And it was intimidating to many.  Some girls wouldn’t even work there because of it.  But I never saw it as him being a jackass.  He was trying to get through to them the best he could.  He was concerned, about them, the club, and how it made it us all look.  Some girls would get smashed, just completely obliterated.  They didn’t know what was going on sometimes.  He would get fed up, and just lay in on them pretty hard.  They would cry, get pissed and scream.  Grab their stuff and leave for a few weeks.  Then they would come back.  In better shape, rarely drinking and actually making really great money.  Either way I loved working with these girls.  They meant business.  They didn’t fuck around about it.  They were so much fun to work with and even at times when girls weren’t getting along with others, some of them would just leave.  I can remember maybe around 6-8 girls in those two years that didn’t even last a month.  That was it.  The rest were the same from the night I started til I left.  Our music was always loud, and the party was always going on strong.  The staff were always there for us and were some of the best I’ve ever worked with.  We were a family.  An odd, large and kinda dysfunctional family.  But in the end we were there for each other and we helped each other out.  Diamonds was a full nude, BYOB club.  Only had a night shift, and I cannot recall for sure but we were not open on Sundays or Mondays.  Sundays for sure the Mondays I’m a little sketchy on.  So only 5 nights a week.  Any idea how much pressure that puts on a girl with just that limited time to make money?  Immense pressure.  But Diamonds was like no other.  It was basic as hell, our dances were either on the side walls on in a vip section 5 steps above the crowd on couches.  Our stage was linoleum tile.  The walls were covered in huge mirrors and we got a little fancy with a smoke machine under a chair at the back of the stage.  The seats weren’t comfy and we only served pop and juice.  It was 18 and up but for those 21 and up they could bring in booze.  Our second stage was a cage, made up entirely of stripper poles.  It was fucking awesome, not gunna lie I miss that thing.  So much fun.  We had waits to get in there that sometimes went from 20 minutes to way more.  And people waited!  They wanted to come and party.  We had 25 girls working in this place and it was the place to be as basic as it was.  Because the staff made it more than it was.  We were the party.  We had fun and the people had fun with us.  Because no matter what happened, we all had each other to work with and look to for help if needed, even if it irritated us.  I wouldn’t be surprised if I never found another club like this one again.  

 

Now here is where I compare where I was to where I am.

 

The club I’m in now is beautiful and has massive potential.  We get busy at times, yes, but the girls don’t work together whatsoever.  In this club everybody is out to get everyone else.  They form cliques and chase of any potential good money or good employees.  There is too much ego going on here and it’s unnecessary.  I love working here, but if the attitudes don’t change it won’t keep getting better.  This club has recently been remodeled.  It looks great.  Nothing basic about it.  Classy, clean, beautiful.  Then we have the bouncers.  One doesn’t like the other, another thinks he’s better than the others and they all like to blame each other when something goes wrong.  Wake up guys, you are a team, stop working against one another and start working as a damn team.  How can you keep the trust of all the girls if you can’t even trust each other?  These guys really are great bouncers each, but it’s hard to find them working in a team effort really.  Sad.  The wait staff.  Oh the wait staff, we have seen so many come and go.  Some are pretty good, others lack and don’t pay attention to customers.  It gets old listening to customers complain that the waitress hasn’t been by in almost 20 minutes when the club is no where near big enough for a waitress to hide, especially on the weekends when there are more than three working.  We have one girl that worked at the door, she is now a vip hostess and waitress and this girl kicks ass at her job.  More waitresses should take her lead and step up there game.  With service like hers we would have no complaints from customers about our wait staff.  Our bartenders.  We’ve lost some pretty good ones.  Some moved and we miss them others just changed jobs.  We have very few now.  One I think is absolutely fantastic.  She is funny and a complete goofball.  It’s refreshing in this industry.  The other has the capacity to be nice but I always seem to catch the attitude.  I avoid being in contact with her if possible, a little too judgmental for this industry really.  She takes opinions too seriously.  

The Djs.  The poor Djs.  There has been so many changes of our DJs other than one it’s a little insane to keep up.  Almost as insane as the change in dancers.  There is so much music that can be played that does great in clubs…that just does not exist on this clubs computer.  Some of the files on it are messed up, or edited or just labeled wrong.  Don’t want to venture out much from what you know plays just in case it messes up.  It just needs a massive dump.  One of our Djs brings in his own music which is great!  And he sells well and makes it fun to be there.  The others are good but we shall see who stays, ya know?

 

And our dancers, oy.  We have so many new girls,, we could have staffed my first club in Chicago- The Admiral and my home club Diamonds each with dancers and still have a few on call.  I cannot keep track of who is really there to stay and who isn’t.  The girls are too busy tearing each other down to really make their full potential.  And it gets so negative in there and tense that you can feel it.  Even if you aren’t sure what’s causing it, you feel it.  I will get into the girls in another post in more detail.  

 

But in the end, I really miss my home club.  Diamonds.  It’s no longer there.  But I still get to talk to the people I work with and remember that at one point we were all making really good money.  Because we actually worked for it and had a hell of a lot of fun doing it. ❤